The Internet’s Greatest Clapbacks That Shut Down Critics In Seconds
One thing that quickly becomes apparent is that the internet is full of negativity. Although there is no shortage of people coming online to make the world a little brighter, and wholesome stories of them finding their people, there's also a lot of conflict.
Although many of us don't like to squabble, that doesn't mean we can't appreciate a sudden checkmate. And when some folks got a little too big for their britches, others were waiting to deliver the most vicious brutal verbal smackdowns. Good luck coming back from these.
She wasn't quite as slick as she thought
In a Twitter post, this woman showed a pair of shorts she had recently acquired but wasn't enamored with the strange white knob that was attached to it. Naturally, she asked, "Anyone knows how to remove this thing?"
Although she immediately received a response, there's no doubt that it wasn't what she wanted to hear. All the man said was, "Pay," as she had obviously shoplifted those shorts. Someone obviously never heard the phrase, "You get what you pay for."
Ooh, that must have hurt
Like it or not, the internet has seen more than its share of paranoid theories based on ignorance in recent years. And in this case, the person shown here expressed dismay that some prominent influencer was denying gravity. In response, a fan told them, "Yes, and what are you going to do about it?"
But while the responder may have felt smugly defiant when they said this, it's probably pretty hard to keep up that confidence after hearing someone describe your mind as "mere decoration." After all, they figured anyone who's just willing to accept any harebrained theory about gravity must not be using it.
This list is excessive but the comeback is still funny
From the list of music disallowed in this restaurant's kitchen, it's hard not to see it as a difficult place to work. Unless this is the final list, it's hard not to imagine everyone will eventually have to work in silence. However, many commenters were more curious about the fact that Nickelback was mentioned twice.
Yet when someone asked why this was, any non-fan of the band could appreciate the response. As they said, "Because he didn't adjust the margins enough to add them three times." Yikes, that's enough of a scorcher to make someone forget how uptight this list is.
Fighting pedantry with pedantry
One annoying part of fan communities is the trend of gatekeeping, in which people who consider themselves "real fans" lay down an arbitrary set of rules that lets them feel superior for how they engage with content. As this example shows, it's the kind of thinking that leads one person to think people aren't really reading if they use audiobooks.
In response, another user mentioned that they're not exactly "saying" that if they're posting about their smug hot take on the internet. After all, if the complainer tries to argue that the difference doesn't really matter, they're only proving the woman's point that their argument doesn't either.
Don't let people on LinkedIn sell you a bill of goods
When people go on LinkedIn, it isn't long before they're treated to someone's high-minded business philosophy or claims that they can set people on the path to becoming self-made millionaires like them. Be warned, however. More often than not, it's based on lies.
Most of the "self-made" elites on there are either exaggerating their wealth or hiding their wealthy families, while jokers like this guy are apparently pretty bad at following their own rules. By the way, to answer the woman's question of what card he would give himself, the answer is apparently, "Whatever card makes you delete your account in embarrassment."
Nice try, but he outranks her
If this exchange reminds the world of anything, it's that even people who should know better can end up spreading misinformation. And the first response this man gets underscores how dangerous that is, as some professionals can end up using their expertise to lend credibility to their mistakes.
Fortunately, this was a case where there was a bigger fish to eat the first one. Good luck getting anything past the President of the International Genetics Federation no matter how many emojis you use to make your point.
Apparently, it's easy to be smug from the tip of the iceberg
It's always a little amusing when someone wants to act like they're better than everyone else while falling victim to the same oversimplification they accuse others of. And with one casual line, Eduard Habsburg set this person straight on what they're missing.
For those who are unaware, the Habsburgs are an Austrian royal family who ruled both the Austrian Empire for over 600 years and Spain for almost 200 years. They're also known for having a family tree so marred by a complicated web of inbreeding that tracing their genealogy is both simpler and far more confusing than usual.
Yeah, she walked right into that one
Every now and then, it's hard not to cover our faces when we see someone post because we already know what people are going to say in response. Naturally, this person was right there with a clever barb about why this woman would never need birth control.
Also, is that really her biggest flex in life? It's probably time to experience more things in life because that wouldn't even be juicy enough for a game of Two Truths And A Lie. Find a bigger flex.
It's petty but it's still pretty funny
Although it's not hard to find people who didn't like the CGI in The Lion King remake, a proud iPhone user still used it to express that their phone's image quality makes Androids look primitive by comparison. However, that didn't turn out to be quite the flex they thought it was.
After all, what good is a fancy camera if the phone runs out of power before it can be used? Regardless of what phone you prefer, it's hard not to admit that using everyone's sad childhood memories to illustrate this point is diabolical.
No, Black Mirror episodes rarely end that happily
Let's all do ourselves a favor and not unpack what "the aristocratic elegance of the small breasted woman" is supposed to mean. The skin crawling at seeing someone say that speaks for itself.
However, it clearly inspired a wish one woman would love to see fulfilled in an episode of Black Mirror. Whether the show would take this route or instead show more cringeworthy descriptions of women's bodies to make a point about algorithms depends on how bleak Charlie Brooker feels like being that day, though.
It's not the most elegant reversal, but it's an effective one
It's unclear what the context behind this argument was, but it probably wasn't about anything important given the quality of the meme someone is working with here. There's not even a background, so the monochrome "Chad" is talking to a clown in a shapeless void?
No wonder this person responded this way. Even if they don't have a rapier wit themselves, they're probably funnier than whoever made that. When the best thing anyone can say about a meme is that they used "you're" correctly and know what "POV" means, it's not a good sign.
This game isn't very fun
Generally, most women like it when someone respects their "no" when they decline a date with them. Yet, while they would consider the opposite behavior harassment, it seems that this person considers it the desired result instead of a red flag.
If that's the game she wants to play, however, it seems that others have found ones that are a lot more fun. The best part is that they can be played by people who actually mean what they say.
With debate skills like this, this person shouldn't be a lawyer
In a Reddit thread, the person who posted this picture saw fit to make an impassioned defense of their Hyundai Creta, a car with an apparent reputation for attracting bad drivers. Yet, while he seems to be arguing against this reputation, he's also living down to it.
As the commenter points out, any backlash about the Creta has always been about its drivers, and he's a perfect example. Although people often drive with one hand on the wheel, they're usually not taking a photo and driving on the wrong side of the road (the country this was taken in uses the left side of the road) while they do it.
The appropriate response to abject grumpiness
After this man did some woodworking with his homemade spacer to put a banister together, it was clear that one commenter found fault with his technique. Where others saw an inventive solution, this man apparently saw an excuse to say, "I wouldn't ever hire a hack like you!!"
In response, someone saw fit to remind this commenter that he probably doesn't know "the right way" to do many things himself. As they said, "How many grandchildren did it take to help turn your phone back on this morning?" Someone would do well to practice a little humility.
This is supposed to be better for mental health?
If the first person here wants to claim that in-office jobs are better for a person's mental health, they're not making a great case for it. After all, are people not supposed to think the woman in HR would be relieved to handle this business in private?
Honestly, it shouldn't be surprising that this person attracted the response they did. They just learned they're a lot worse for people's mental health than remote work could ever be. Nice try, though.
This considerate fellow just made the FBI's jobs easier
As one commenter so eloquently explains, replying to an official FBI post about a domestic terror incident and cheering on the perpetrator is a great way to put oneself on a watch list. So, if this man was a little lonely and just wanted to know someone was always looking out for him, mission accomplished.
As the commenter goes on to say, though, it seems unlikely that David here thought that far ahead. That said, the agent assigned to him will probably have a good laugh when they find "How to delete tweets from people's screenshots" and "How to flee to the Cayman Islands" in his search history.
It sounds like this person is speaking from experience
While this person may not have worked for Elon Musk directly, the venom of their response shows that they've worked in similar enough circles to know who's doing all the work. So, they clearly couldn't resist capitalizing on this unfortunate statement.
If someone's going to compare raising a child to prompting an AI, they have to expect this kind of response. It practically writes itself at that point. Considering Musk's reputation at the moment, it's probably not even the only statement he made that day that people decided to mock.
Remember, everyone is on the internet now
When people get in arguments online, one of their first moves is to try and undermine the credibility of who they're arguing with. Naturally, since they don't usually know each other, they can only be vague and say something like, "Who made you the expert?"
Although that can often buy a little time, it doesn't really work when the other person offers a whole résumé in response. At least that means her opponent might learn something now. Assuming they don't block her, of course.
Is it really that big of a deal?
After UFC fighter Sean Strickland expressed displeasure with seeing Americans show pride in their non-American heritage on X, another user found it strange that he was focusing so much on Mexican flags. As his response demonstrates, he also found the whole argument pretty hard to swallow.
Not only did he mention that there's no harm in reflecting the reality that everyone here who isn't Native American was an immigrant to the United States at some point, but he noted that Strickland didn't have the same energy for Italian and Irish flags on American soil. He was too classy to speculate on why, though.