Kids Who Are Truly Living On A Different Planet
You might have heard of a little something called "kid logic" or maybe you've seen it in action by your own children. It's the reason your kid has a favorite way to breathe in and out and insists on eating only yellow food for a week. When you see kid logic in action you just kind of go with it and ask questions later.
Here are some kids really and truly innovating in the strangest ways possible. If you were to ask them why they do the things they do, they'd probably have no answer. But are they willing to die for their beliefs or at least scream for hours? Oh yes.
Only A Two-Year-Old Would Choose This Costume
Rule number one of being a parent is knowing that two-year-olds are always right even when they're so, so, so wrong. So if you've got a cute little pumpkin costume lined up for your little one but they insist on being a pair of Levi's 501s, you just accept defeat.
How Did This Kid Even Get Stuck Like This?
We actually all know exactly how this kid got stuck like this because it's happened to the best of us. If you've ever been to a wedding with an open bar, you can pretty much count on recreating this photo at the end of the night.
Bathtubs Are Made For Buffalo Wings Apparently
This kid knows that no mess=no stress. This is a genius way to go straight from the wing dinner to the shower—which we all know is sorely needed after a good 10 cent wing deal. But this is also deeply disturbing, just saying.
The Hotdog Costume That Totally Fit The Princess Theme
Princesses come in all shapes, sizes, colors, meat mixes, spice combinations, and grill mark formations. This girl is clearly feeling herself and her look and there's truly nothing more royal than that.
The Nun Themed Third Birthday Party
Kids like what they like and sometimes you can't control that. So just know that if you leave your scary movie on in the living room and she comes in to eat her chicken nuggets and gets absorbed in it, you're going to be spending a couple of sleepless nights wondering if she's possessed. It's parenting, man.
A Band-Aid For Those Heavy Flow Days
I see where this kid's brain was going when he was looking for a band-aid for a cut. It makes sense, honestly. The only issue is that it's altogether way too funny to look at and other people might pop a blood vessel and bleed out from laughing too hard.
The Dedicated Mall Fountain Snorkeler
When you have a passion, it can sometimes take over your life. It'll start to consume everything you're doing and you'll find yourself thinking about it even when you're taking time off. Just like this passionate snorkeling kid who can't even go to the mall without the alluring pull of the water calling to him.
Say Cheese
This kid logic is also the over-documenting parent logic. You need to take a photo beside something to commemorate everything, otherwise, it didn't happen. Your first car accident? Stand beside the dent. Your beloved fish died? Hold that sucker up and look alive.
This Blunt Assessment Of The Ugly Duckling
To be fair, yeah, I guess that's the moral. Sure, there's more to it, but if this kid is going to start being kind to ugly people, then hey, isn't that what education is for?
The Excuse Letter Written In Pencil From The "Principal"
This is a super believable and totally not forged letter from the principal himself excusing this kid's absence. Nevermind the writing, the pencil, the lined paper, and the clear erase marks where the principal tried, again and again, to sign his name right. This is legit.
The Kid Who's Not Playing Around When He's Mad
This is a power move. In one swift, petty action, this kid ruined banana bread, smoothies, light snackage, and peanut butter and banana on toast for everyone in the house. If this is the true power of kid logic then it is great and it is fearsome.
He Learned Not Every Leg Is Huggable
What a way to learn that you can't just go around hugging things you want to hug. When dad is covered in literal goop you gotta draw the line at your love for him. Just stand in the crowd and cheer like the rest of us.
The Kid Who Took The Plunge
I don't know what this kid is doing, but he's probably the most normal person you've seen at Walmart recently. Maybe he's trying to plunge away the memories of the wacky people he's seen in the store.
I'm Genuinely Worried For These Spellers
We're looking at the moments when four kid's brains decided that they'd had enough with the English language and just checked out. I'm especially concerned about the kid who wrote "itcolme" because that one truly is on another level.
The Makeup Artist Who's Out To Ruin You
This niece is the friend who you get ready to go out with who's always borrowing your clothes and getting you to do her hair, but when it's your turn to ask for help, she's mysteriously busy taking selfies. She will do you dirty and this is how it starts.
Nipple Covers Make Perfect Spider-man Hats
Kids are like magnets—they attract stuff that you're not using to them, no matter what it is. That spatula? Well, that's their new "adventure pirate helmet." Your nipple covers? Spider-man's head has been feeling chilly recently.
She Took Only The Essentials
This kid knows that when you're leaving the house you gotta do the classic pat-down on yourself—phone, wallet, keys, Cheetos for the road. If you don't have all of these, then you have to turn around because life will come at you fast otherwise.
The Barbie Dream House Still Has Rules
It's her house, it's her rules. She's out here raising her Barbies exactly like she was raised and they're going to thank her for it. Especially when they don't have to sweep and mop the floors as often.
The Kid Who's Out Here Staking His Claim
It's nice to be wanted, but maybe this kid needs to reevaluate what he's looking for in a pet. Does a six-foot-tall human with a car, job, and mortgage really compare to a short-hair domestic breed? He's gotta weigh his options.
The Milk That's Got Two Phones And Only Goes Out At Night
This milk just asked me if I had change for a $20 in quarters and if I wanted to "see something." When it starts doing all this and wearing cowl neck sweaters up to its ears, you know it's time to intervene.
The Problem Solver
Ah, yes, perfect, just like the factory makes. This kid logic of "fixing" something is basically just putting in enough effort to say you kinda tried and hoping that mom or dad won't get mad at you for that.
Valerie Isn't Winning Any Babysitting Awards
This kid logic is a little more dark than normal. Sure, sending a letter asking your least favorite babysitter to get out of your life is a fine thing to do, but adding a diagram that might be illustrating what'll happen if she doesn't? Kinda nefarious little dude, kinda nefarious.
Why Would You Ever Want To Leave The Country When You Could Just Doodle On Your Own Passport?
If I was the TSA agent checking this ID out, I'd have a couple of questions for this shady character. Number one is why not get Lasik if your glasses are this bent out of shape? Number two, of course, would be why she's rocking the circle beard/mustache combo when it's so out of style.
Legos, Now A Computer Game Moat
This girl is thinking. She's read all the tweets and Facebook posts about people stepping on Legos and how it hurts and she's formulated a fool-proof plan thanks to those. All she needs is a computer in front of her and it's perfect.
The Dog-Manicurist In Training
Yeah, 100% you should be suspicious because normally things don't end this fabulous and stylish. Usually, the dog gets shaved and painted purple and then runs into your room and jumps on the bed. This is probably the best outcome you could ask for.
He Decorated The Kitchen In 24 Carrots
Well done kid, you've officially made the kitchen a little more luxe. He's decked the place out in 24-carrot decor and it couldn't have turned out any better. This look of pure joy and triumph is enough to get me through the day.
He Technically Did Eat Half Her Grapes
Har dee har. This joker needs to learn that when you share food, you need to treat it with a certain level of respect. Otherwise, someone else is going to do it to them. This kid better watch his fruit by the foot snacks because they're getting reduced to mere inches.
The Kid Who Swore They Didn't Get Into The Flour
After leaving a trail Hansel and Gretel would be jealous of and looking like a character on The Wolf Of Wall Street, this kid had the audacity to ask his mom is she was "sure you didn't get into the flour?" Hmmmm, now that he brings it up, maybe?
The Kid Who Didn't Come To Preschool To Make Friends
Fair play, why would you ever want anyone at your party that you don't like? Seems to me this isn't kid logic, but fully grown adult logic. He only wants to be surrounded by friends and family on their special day.
She Couldn't Fit The Money In The Piggy Bank So...
I mean, sometimes the old actions of rolling, folding, or squishing just don't come to mind in a moment of distress. She really did try here and the bank will probably still accept it, so maybe this move wasn't so drastic after all.